Checking in

First, I apologize for not posting more often! I guess I could try to pull some excuse like "life has been crazy" which wouldn't be far-off but really I'm just lazy. Also, I don't like to write when there's nothing good to report. And, I like to post when I'm alone so that I don't have boyfriend peaking over my shoulder and asking "what's that?"

So which do you want to hear first? The good news or the bad news?

-tosses coin-

Good News: As of this morning I'm down 20 pounds. I don't recal the exact start date (and if Fitday's server wasn't down I could log-in and check...blast!), but I think it was mid-March. Roughly 2 pounds per week, give or take. Some weeks up, some weeks down.

Almost daily I've got people telling me I look amazing, and my natural reaction is to say "No I don't," but usually manage to say a quiet thank you and change the subject. I'm getting everything from "I've been meaning to tell you, you look great lately, so whatever you're doing keep doing it..." to "Jesus fucking Christ Elle you look so damn hot!" At the end of the day I am doing this for myself and no one else. This is my body, my rules, and I'll do whatever the hell I want with it. But I won't lie, the external validation is encouraging.

Bad News: The new diet has definately caused some tension between me and boyfried lately. I think we're okay now, but a few weeks ago we had a huge blow-up where he had just enough bourbon in him to let fly with his real feelings: "You're obsessed! All you do is work out! You eat these ridiculously tiny portions! I don't want to be with someone that all they care about is their weight."

That kind of killed me.

I'm sorry if my dieting is hard on you, but here's a newsflash - I guarantee it's a HELL of a lot harder on ME, okay? If you think it's hard dating someone with my lifestyle choices, try BEING the person with the lifestyle choices. Do you honestly think I like being hungry all the time? Aching after every work out? Drinking club soda while all my friends are having margaritas? Writing down every little single thing I put in my body?

And another thing, I've had friends say to me: "You look great lately, what have you been doing?" As if it was that simple. They want me to say "Well I found this great pill. You take it once a day and POOF! Fat is gone!" When in reality I want to say - "Well, I eat nothing, work out everyday, don't drink anymore, take pills, write down everything I eat, and have no social life. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Another friend was telling me about the HCG diet - some weird thing where you get these shots daily and eat only 500 calories, to which I said, "Um, duh? Why wouldn't you just only eat 500 calories a day? It's called Willpower; go get some." I don't think he appreciated my candor.

Another bad thing, my bike got stolen yesterday. I rode it to the gym, did yoga, ran 4 miles, worked out my abs, came back outside and there was my bike cable, cut in half, lying on the concrete - bike gone.

AS IF I HAVE $700 TO GO OUT AND BUY ANOTHER GODDAMN BIKE! I bet some fat fuck lifted it, they won't even ride it for excercise. They're just a worthless sack of shit that likes to go around stealling people's means of transportation and excercise. Ugh.

Anyway, less than 2 months to go until I take a beach vacation. Gotta lose at least 10 more pounds between now and then.

It never ends....